Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
