remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
