he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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