Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize