Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.