We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill