You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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