I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
