I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
