my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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