God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I will pee on everything he values.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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