We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
