who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
