So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
