youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
