i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
