What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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