im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
