the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize