she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
