I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
