you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
