hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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