I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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