I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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