Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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