I only kidnapped one of them. chill
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
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i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
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I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.