Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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