Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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