just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
