We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
