Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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