Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
