Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He passed out mid-signature
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
