Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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