she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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