Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
