And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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