im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
