so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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