Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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