I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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