there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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