my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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