i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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