I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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