I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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