Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
