they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
