Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
