I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
