"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
