Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
