I skipped work to stalk him.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
