what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
