Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
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We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
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I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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