Plan B is the new Plan A
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
