she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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