Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
