East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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