I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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