Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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