Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize