Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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