the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize