so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
